I know its not Tuesday but hey the holiday and a glitch in the forums threw me off, any way i had something ready for today but instead ill save it for next week and give a food review since im off anyway.

This past weekend i was strolling through the local walmart and i saw something out of the corner of my eye , a doritos bag that i didn't recognize. A closer look and sure enough it was Doritos flavor X-13D ???? What the hell is X-13D? Sounds like some sort of pesticide or wasn't it the name of the robot they bought in star wars before they bought R2D2, you know the one that shorted out. Come to think about it they could come out with strychnine flavor and we as consumers probably wouldnt even question it. We are talking about the same marketing guys who brought us the whole "fight for the flavor" contest and BBQ doritos so nothing would surprise me.

Seems the flavors name has to do with Doritos new marketing campaign / contest where we as consumers get to name the flavor. X-13D is supposed to stand for experiment 13 doritos i guess which makes me wonder what where the first twelve flavors.I recognized the flavor right away its cheeseburger with a hint of pickle and possibly a tangy mustard. Only reason i knew the flavor is that ive eaten doritos on my cheeseburger before, it gives it a little crunch trust me its good. Anyway the flavor isnt that bad but i wonder just how many people will want cheeseburger flavored chips with their cheeseburger. All in all i give the chip a thumbs sideways , not quite a thumbs up and not quite a thumbs down, its one of those chips you can eat a few of but not sit down and eat the whole bag.Some where out there somone is thinking " i feel like eating light today , instead of a cheeseburger ill just have some doritos" , " yeah doritos are a healthy snack"

After sampling the chips i turned the bag over to see the contest rules and website, low and behold its snackstrongproductions.com doing the marketing again. All they did was add a billboard and a few hotspot links that say X-13D that leads you to another flash site to their already piss poor site that features a fake Doritos land. Im not saying that baddrink.com is a great site but you dont have to hunt for the links and you can actually load it in under two days on a dial up. If you want to skip the whole fake Doritos land and go straight to the contest the site is http://x13d.doritos.com/ and yes its another damn flash site and half of its links are hotspots you need to mouse over to find. Heres a tip for your web designers, two words "navigational controls".

Enough with bashing their site and on to the contest. After finally getting to the point i could name the chips i of course have to create an account with them , great more spam but this time its spam with a side of chips. Seems not only do they want you to name the chip they also want you to make the commercial for them too. Similar to the contest they did during the superbowl, but this time they provide the video you just record a voice over for them. A quick look over the rules shows that by submitting your idea for a name you thereby grant all rights to Doritos to that name , so if you came up with "Zesty Burger" and they chose it you get the prize and nothing more, no residual's or anything just the grand prize. What is that grand prize? what is the prize for coming up with Americas new household name in snack? 52 free product coupons each valid for 1 bag of Doritos Tortilla Chips up to 13 oz. Yes for you doing the job thier marketing firm should be doing you get coupons worth $181.48 and a lifetime of Doritos calling you up to test their new flavors so you can again do the marketing guys jobs. Essentially your new pet name would be " dorito bitch"

I thought Doritos was being cheap bastards when they did the whole "fight for the flavor" campaign but this time they arent even giving out crappy t-shirts! What a bunch a cheap bastards! On a side some what related note google must think doritos are gay too! Do a google image search for "funny doritos" notice the fifth pic over , just what the hell does Zack and Slater from saved by the bell with their shirts off have to do with funny or doritos?

Cop gets stoned on pot brownies then calls 911

Is this dumbass law enforcement week or what? Im not a stoner im a drunk as ive said many times before but even i know the effects of pot. I think i should have given this guy the dumbass of the week award versus the liquor store robber. The only thing that would make this better is if he said " and were still hungry too...man". All that needs to be said is "you sir a a dumbass."

This gets even better i did a search for the news story and came across the complete recording of the call to 911, click here to listen to it. I cant beleive the operator is actually not laughing her ass off hell when i first read it i laughed so damn hard everyone around me thought i was high. Here the full story on it.

Routine stop turns into porno for lucky trooper

Im not sure if everyone has heard about it but a Tennesee state trooper is accused of not arresting a lady in exchange for oral sex. Now maybe this makes me a pig or maybe this makes me a realist, but i think most men can understand this guy. He is a tennessee state trooper out late at night looking for speeders, drunk drivers, or anybody else he can harass. Then he pulls over a car with this cute 21 year old that just happens to be buzzing and has a few of her illegal happy pills with her. Not only is she cute and semi stoned but low and behold she is none other then porn star "Barbie Cummings". Is it just me or is this how a lot of porn movies start? Thats the magic porno recipe: young girl late night, man in power or a pizza guy mix together with some cheesy music and instant porno.

Looking at this guy im going to guess this was his once in a life time chance that something like this would happen. Im not saying that justifies any abuse of power but hey he wasnt married and she offered. She even posted how she wanted to do it again the next time she was in the area, so im guessing she didnt develop a deep emotional scar. The tropper still gave her the speeding ticket he just didnt clog up our courts with another pill head that will do nothing more then learn about newer drugs while in jail. He saved us some tax dollars and got a priceless memory , no harm no foul right?

Theres one thing that i noticed the news sources have overlooked in this little matter, the fact good ole inoccent Barbie is milking this for all its worth. ( pun intended ) Do a web search for Barbie Cummings and see if you what you find, other then her website you really dont find much except for news about this. Prior to her posting this on her blog she was a nameless porn actress and now she has her 15 minutes of internet fame. When the web hits started going up on her site she pulled the blog, the pics, and the video and it was replaced with a porn site listing a bunch of other porn stars so they too could bask in the glory of this news story.

Marital Disclaimer: note to Wife please notice i mentioned the officer wasnt married, had he been married it would have been different.

Flaming Hot Cheetos Meat Loaf

Ok im not going to deniegh it I forgot about tasty Tuesday this week until the last minute but as a result i got to try something ive wanted to do for a long time. Come to think about it this idea hit me over ten tears ago when i first got introduced to one of the greatest snacks ever.I remember looking into the old vending machine where i worked and saying what the hell is a Flaming Hot Cheeto? They sat in the machine for a week or two until they where the only thing left and i had to have something to go with my cold meatloaf sandwich so i tried them. As my hands turned almost to a glow in the dark red color i thought do they really need to make it this damn color? Really do they think we as consumers are so dumb that we need hot snacks to be this damn coated with red dye number 40? It also did kinda puzzle me when i noticed there wasnt any sign of anything that closely resembled hot in the ingredient list but hey they tasted great smashed inside my meatloaf sandwich. They added a little spice or zing to the dull old meatloaf sandwich and that got me thinking other then the funky color why not use crushed cheetos instead of crackers in a meatloaf?

A few months went by and the vending machine went dry of flaming hot cheetos so i checked the stores for them. Every where i went no one had ever heard of them, had i found the one fountain for these wonderful snacks and run it dry i thought. Would i never again get the acid hot flavor and the msg headaches again i wondered. It was years later that the snack reared its head again and finally became mainstream. And last night i finally got to make my dream of flaming hot cheeto loaf a reality.

Heres your grocery list:

1. 2 lbs of ground beef


2. 2 eggs


3. 12 pack of beer ( one to add to the meatloaf for flavor the other 11 to drink while cooking )



4. 2/3 cup of crushed Flaming Hot Cheetos


5. 1/3 cup crushed crackers


6. 1 1/4 teaspoons chili powder


7. 1 1/4 teaspoons seasoning salt


8. 1/4 cup ketchup


9. 1/3 cup chopped jalapenos (optional but recommended )


10. 1/3 cup finely chopped Onions ( again optional )


11. 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce


12. 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper


13. 1/2 cup of shredded cheese ( again optional)

1 muffin pan

I know the first question is going to be why the muffin pan, and thats an idea that my wife came up with. Your pretty much making mini meat loafs in the muffin pan instead of one big one. It works out great for me since i like the burnt outsides on the meatloaf and if you have picky eaters in your house make different loafs for each person. Since i was experimenting for the first time with flaming cheeto loaf i got one pan and some meat while the wife made the normal loaf as a backup thats why i have only the little bit of meat showing in the bowl in the picture. Also i used alot more more then the little pile of cheetos in the picture. The pile in the pic is 21 cheetos which is what they say is one serving, who the hell are they kidding?

Now comes the easiest part , put all the ingredients in a bowl except for the cheese,the beer,and the ketchup of course and mix them up a like your playing with playdoh. A good tip is to wear some plastic gloves. That red dye in the cheetos is pretty harsh and hard as hell to come off , so not only did i wear gloves i smashed the cheetos in a zip lock bag. Even doing that and washing my hands numerous times i can look down at my fingers right now and see a pinkish stained hue. After your done mixing the ingredients up start making balls of the now neon red meat and putting it in the muffin pan. Dont worry about spraying any nonstick stuff on the pan the meat will make its own grease and pull apart from the pan so make the balls pretty big ( ok i didnt know this and mine turned out tiny ). When you got the pan full top off the meat muffins with some ketchup as a glaze, or a little bit of your favorite hot sauce for some more heat. Im not sure what transformation happens as ketchup bakes but is it just me or does it taste better?

Now that your tray is ready fire up the grill, sure you could do it in the oven but why? its nice out and this is man meat loaf not meant for the oven. Just turn the burner on a low setting and let it preheat for a couple of minutes with the lid closed. After youve given it a few minutes to warm up put the muffin tray on the grill and shut the lid.

It took my crappy old grill about 20 minutes to cook them but i would check them about every 5 minutes or so. When they have been on the grill for about 10 minutes poor some beer over each of the muffins so it mixes with the grease around the meat for a little added flavor. If you want you can also add some shredded cheese on top of the loafs when you add the beer its optional of course. Check out the difference in the colors of the meat in the two different trays on the grill , can you tell which side is cheeto loaf?

They didnt turn out bad for the first run as a matter of fact they where pretty good. Just one thing i might do different next time is make larger meat muffins, they really shrank.

Heres a pic of the cross section of what they came out looking like next to a normal meat loaf muffin. Sure they look kinda gross and i need to work on making them a little more appetizing to the eyes but they where good. The picture came out pretty crappy but that could be due to the beers consumed during this experiment.I think the next time i make these ill use a heart shaped muffin pan so they look like little bleeding heart loafs...

Watch, how much you all want to bet that google picks up on the whole "Flamming" thing as a keyword and puts up a bunch of "are you gay" ads.

A trip to the hardware store

Lowes and Home Depot must have the greatest marketing firms in the world working for them to do what they do. Think about it what other stores have the ability to make the average person believe that a simple trip to the hardware store can make them qualified to build anything! I wonder how many electrical fires, exploding water heaters, or rickety decks have been born out of the " you can do it, and we can help" marketing campaigns of these stores alone. Or better yet the Lowe's campaign of "ask our experts" , tell me just what makes the pimple faced kid working part time in Lowes plumbing isle an expert on plumbing? Is it because he can operate a faucet or that he has the highest score on Super Mario?

There has been many projects i have undertaken that i probably wasnt qualified to do but hey the kid at home depot said i could. Maybe its a mentality of "if they sell me the tools to do it then it must be easy to do", that leads the average person to thinking they can do anything. Personally im pretty good with tools minus the occasional accident like shooting a nail through my hand and such. Ill admit ive had to tear entire projects apart to start from scratch because i screwed up. But there are so many unqualified people out there with that " i can do it" mentality. Hell they make you get a background check for a gun but they have no problem selling anybody an ax, a hammer, or a skillsaw? I for one would much rather be shot they hacked up with a skillsaw especially if the person doing they hacking didnt know how to use the it and had to make numerous cuts.

Out of all of my household projects ive managed to get them done and at least make them look semi professional or at the very least functional. But i really wonder what is that false sense of " i can do it " that comes with owning a new tool. What part of the brain shuts down to make us think we can build anything? Then to make matters worse you have the DIY shows that just love to put ideas into you head. But thats a subject for another day

Anyway in the spirit of building things we arent qualified to build i ended up at Lowes this weekend buying tools i dont really know how to use. Im doing some masonry work so of course i needed a masonry hammer for the job and i sought out one in the store. Finally i noticed a single hammer laying next to the concrete trowels but it didnt have a barcode. After flagging down an expert ( also know as a teenage kid who works at Lowe's part time ) he tells me just use the cashier near that isle and ask her to walk over to the isle and scan the code on the rack, no biggy. After gathering up all the other odds and ends i needed i walked over to the cashier who was starring off in space with a dazed look. Now im not trying to discriminate or anything but this cashier if i had to guess would weigh in around 300+ lbs and no other customers where anywhere in sight let alone in line and thats important to know, the conversation went like this:

Me: This hammer doesn't have a barcode but the guy over there said you can scan the code on the shelf.

Cashier:Do you know the numbers of the barcode?

Me: Uhh..... no they are on the shelf right over on the isle right there ( as i point to the shelf 15 feet away )

Cashier: Can you tell me the numbers off the shelf? Heres something to write them on ( as she prints out a blank receipt and hands me a pen )

Me: Ok , (I walk over to the isle write the numbers down and bring them back to her)

Cashier: This isnt the right numbers.

Me: Its the only numbers on the sticker.

Cashier: Here take this scanner and scan the barcode ( she hands me the cordless handeheld scanner )

Me: Ok ( i walk back over and scan the barcode for her )

Cashier: Thanks your total will be xxx

Here is what should have happened at this point

Cashier: Can you tell me the numbers off the shelf? Heres something to write them on ( as she prints out a blank receipt and hands me a pen )

Me:Heres an idea chunk instead of me doing your job why dont you get you chubby happy ass up and waddle on over to the isle and use your kielbasa size fingers to pull the little button on that hand held scanner that your payed to use. Maybe if you waddled around every now and then your ass wouldn't require a loading door to enter this building!

Baddrink.com historic day

Well today is a proud day in baddrink.com history , finally this site is the number one hit for something on google! If you type in "yahoo finaince" in your google search engine the number one hit is Baddrink.com!!!!! Here it is

Do you know what that means??? It means the millions of illiterate web surfers looking to use google to get them to Yahoo Finance will see this site first. Oh happyness google finally has ranked baddrink.com appropriatley!

How ive yearned to cater to the illeterate money tycoons.

making Drunken chicken

Ok since im feeding the internet spiders info so they dont think im gay , it got me to thinking whats more manly then grillin. So i fired up the ole grill for Beer Butt Chicken, Drunken Chicken, Beer Can Chicken or whatever you want call it. ( watch google will just pick up on the gay and butt thing ) . Yes you heard me right beer butt chicken , trust me its better then it sounds, and real easy. Total cook time is about an hour and a half and you can do the whole meal on the grill.

Heres your grocery list:

1. 1 four to five pound chicken


2. 1 bottle/can malt liquor


3. 1 Potato


4. Some seasoning


5. 1 cast iron frying pan ( optional )


6. 1 beer butt chicken rack ( optional but real handy)


7. 1 marinade injector ( again optional but good for seasoning)

First thing is make sure your chicken isnt frozen, if it is this will take way to long and it probably end up like a microwave burrito, burnt on the outside and frozen in the middle. If the chicken isnt frozen then its time to add your seasoning rub. A rub is nothing more then a mix of different seasonings and spices , you can make your own or buy it from the store, using a good season salt as a rub is pretty good for starters. The way a rub works is the rub pulls moisture from the air, and draws the juices from inside the meat this reaction causes the meat to literally marinate itself. The best way to apply the rub is to sprinkle the rub onto the bird, wrap in plastic wrap and store in a refrigerator overnight. If your like me you dont plan that far ahead and i just put it on the chicken 20 minutes before i cooked it, which still works but overnight would be better.

Now its time to prep your beer can, i was drinking bottles when i started this so i had to swipe an empty soda can from my wife. Rinse the can out and fill it about half way full of beer and set it in the beer butt chicken rack if you have one. If you want you can add some other spices to the beer like cut up jalapenos or onions in the end it will steam into the meat as flavor. Beer selection is important, you will notice i used king cobra malt liquor versus a plain jane keystone light like i normally drink there is a reason for this. Light beers are just that , "light" they are even light in flavor no matter what Budweiser says. We are looking for a malt flavor here so go to a malt beer , any malt liquor will do but the cobra was cheap and hey i get to drink the remainder. For some added flavor you can inject some butter or other spices into the breast of the chicken. Personally i recommend a few squirts of papa johns garlic butter into each breast but its optional so if you have a marinade injector already.

Next you put the half full beer can into the chickens rear, ( hence the beer butt name ) dont spill the beer when you do this! your wanting a half full beer in the can. The can should fit pretty snug if it wont fit at all then you dont know the chickens ass from its neck ( try the other end ). Just in case someone out there doesn't know this , make sure you remove the neck and the livers before inserting the can. If you dont have a beer butt chicken rack you can prop the chicken up using the can and the chickens legs like a tripod to balance it. Then take your potato and jam it in the neck of the bird, this will keep the flavorful steam inside the meat.

I mentioned the skillet was optional earlier and that all depends on how good of a grill you have. I have an old piece of crap grill thats small, flames up bad, and has two flame settings on or off. If your like me then set the chicken on a skillet on the grill to catch some of the grease and keep the grease fire down. Set the chicken on the grill and turn the flame down to medium if you can and close the lid to the grill. The lid being able to close is important , your making a backyard oven here , also try to make it so the lid doesn't hit the chicken or it might burn. I check the grill every fifteen minutes or so when i cook one of these but for first timers check it about every ten. Normally it takes about an hour to an hour and fifteen minutes to cook a 5 pound bird this way but thats going to vary from grill to grill so its good to have a meat thermometer. Dont check the temp on the bird to often because each time you poke it your letting juices and flavor out but in the end the chicken should be 180 degrees F (80 degrees C) when done.

What i do is about a half hour before i think the chicken will be done is i start getting my corn on the cob ready. Simply take some corn thats been husked , some butter, some season salt, and wrap it up in some foil. You can use non husked corn and just toss it on the grill its all up to which tastes better to you. Put your corn on the grill about twenty minutes prior to when you think the chicken will be done and it should be ready about the same time. Every five minutes or so you want to roll the corn to keep it from burning on one side. If you want to add a baked potato to the mix then do the same with it but throw it on the grill when you first start the chicken. Quick and easy and MANLY google!

If your bored and need a good laugh you can also take tinfoil and make a bikini for the chicken. Wrap it around the bird before you cook it and add some tan lines like the picture at the top. Oh and if you want you can do this in the oven inside the house but then it becomes womens work.