A trip to the hardware store

Lowes and Home Depot must have the greatest marketing firms in the world working for them to do what they do. Think about it what other stores have the ability to make the average person believe that a simple trip to the hardware store can make them qualified to build anything! I wonder how many electrical fires, exploding water heaters, or rickety decks have been born out of the " you can do it, and we can help" marketing campaigns of these stores alone. Or better yet the Lowe's campaign of "ask our experts" , tell me just what makes the pimple faced kid working part time in Lowes plumbing isle an expert on plumbing? Is it because he can operate a faucet or that he has the highest score on Super Mario?

There has been many projects i have undertaken that i probably wasnt qualified to do but hey the kid at home depot said i could. Maybe its a mentality of "if they sell me the tools to do it then it must be easy to do", that leads the average person to thinking they can do anything. Personally im pretty good with tools minus the occasional accident like shooting a nail through my hand and such. Ill admit ive had to tear entire projects apart to start from scratch because i screwed up. But there are so many unqualified people out there with that " i can do it" mentality. Hell they make you get a background check for a gun but they have no problem selling anybody an ax, a hammer, or a skillsaw? I for one would much rather be shot they hacked up with a skillsaw especially if the person doing they hacking didnt know how to use the it and had to make numerous cuts.

Out of all of my household projects ive managed to get them done and at least make them look semi professional or at the very least functional. But i really wonder what is that false sense of " i can do it " that comes with owning a new tool. What part of the brain shuts down to make us think we can build anything? Then to make matters worse you have the DIY shows that just love to put ideas into you head. But thats a subject for another day

Anyway in the spirit of building things we arent qualified to build i ended up at Lowes this weekend buying tools i dont really know how to use. Im doing some masonry work so of course i needed a masonry hammer for the job and i sought out one in the store. Finally i noticed a single hammer laying next to the concrete trowels but it didnt have a barcode. After flagging down an expert ( also know as a teenage kid who works at Lowe's part time ) he tells me just use the cashier near that isle and ask her to walk over to the isle and scan the code on the rack, no biggy. After gathering up all the other odds and ends i needed i walked over to the cashier who was starring off in space with a dazed look. Now im not trying to discriminate or anything but this cashier if i had to guess would weigh in around 300+ lbs and no other customers where anywhere in sight let alone in line and thats important to know, the conversation went like this:

Me: This hammer doesn't have a barcode but the guy over there said you can scan the code on the shelf.

Cashier:Do you know the numbers of the barcode?

Me: Uhh..... no they are on the shelf right over on the isle right there ( as i point to the shelf 15 feet away )

Cashier: Can you tell me the numbers off the shelf? Heres something to write them on ( as she prints out a blank receipt and hands me a pen )

Me: Ok , (I walk over to the isle write the numbers down and bring them back to her)

Cashier: This isnt the right numbers.

Me: Its the only numbers on the sticker.

Cashier: Here take this scanner and scan the barcode ( she hands me the cordless handeheld scanner )

Me: Ok ( i walk back over and scan the barcode for her )

Cashier: Thanks your total will be xxx

Here is what should have happened at this point

Cashier: Can you tell me the numbers off the shelf? Heres something to write them on ( as she prints out a blank receipt and hands me a pen )

Me:Heres an idea chunk instead of me doing your job why dont you get you chubby happy ass up and waddle on over to the isle and use your kielbasa size fingers to pull the little button on that hand held scanner that your payed to use. Maybe if you waddled around every now and then your ass wouldn't require a loading door to enter this building!