Sorry for the lack of updates but ive been working on alot of projects around the house which brings me to todays rant. This past Sunday i was minding my own business working in my side yard digging a drainage ditch when a SUV I didn't know pulled up with a couple of guys in suits in it. The guys got out and started heading my way and right away i could tell what they were door to door jesus salesmen. They just have that whole " I know im bothering you but its for jesus" look to them, a smugness all its own. These guys can obviously see im working im knee deep in a hole wearing nothing but a pair of shorts and im covered in sweat but that doesn't stop the jesus salesmen. Our conversation went like this:
Jesus Salesmen 1: So are you making the driveway wider? ( ive had some work done that looks like im making the driveway wider)
Me: Nope putting in a pool ( i really am but they couldn't see it from where i was digging so they might of thought i was being a smartass)
Jesus Salesmen 1: We dont mean to bother you or interrupt you while your working.
Me: Ok ( in my head i was thinking "then why the *censored* are you bothering me?")
Jesus Salesmen 1: We are just out taking some time to talk to people blah blah blah ( i pretty much quit listening at that point)
Me: Really wow.
Jesus Salesmen 1: Blah blah blah , with all the fighting thats going on in the middle east lately on the news people are concerned about rapture coming soon.
Me: Recent fighting in the middle east? You do know they have been fighting there for the past couple thousand years right? Seems to me it just made the news since we jumped in.
Jesus Salesmen 1: Yeah, but with all the recent wars and weather people are looking for answers.
Me: Ok ( in my head i was thinking "yeah i want to know the answer to why the hell your still here!")
Jesus Salesmen 1: Blah blah jesus, peace on earth blah blah blah we will leave you with this pamphlet to read and maybe it will answer some of the questions you might be asking yourself.
Me: Ok well ill get back to work ( in my head i thought " was i asking anybody any questions? Great i can use this pamphlet to wipe the sweat off my forehead")
Jesus salesmen 1: You have a good day and good luck with your digging
Jesus salesmen 2: have a good day and God bless
Several people might be thinking whats my problem? these guys where just trying to spread the word of God. Well heres my problem i lost 45 minutes of my time listening to their mindless chatter and oh yeah thats right i didn't invite these guys now did I? Now lets put there sales pitch in a nutshell:
"Hello , We would just like to let you know how we believe you should live and what you should worship if not...........well your going to die and spend all eternity in hell where your soul will be tortured by a big bunch of scary monsters."
Im not downing religion but thats the sales pitch in a nutshell inst it? Seems to me these guys pulled up on my property uninvited then started slinging threats at me , if eternally being tortured by some guy holding a pitchfork isn't a threat i don't know what one is. Now it would be illegal for me to show up at there house and say " if you don't drink beer like me a big scary beer monster will come and destroy your liver while you sleep" so just what the hell makes it legal for them? Maybe im looking at it wrong but i think the next time one of these jesus knockers comes to threaten me ill just pull out my can of Cthulhu
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