baddrinks rant

Mcdonalds monopoly rare game pieces

2007-10-17T07:04:00.000-07:00

This morning i was walking around work and i noticed 4 different people entering codes off of Macdonald's Monopoly game pieces when they should have been working. Just for the hell of it i checked ebay to see what results " Mcdonald's monopoly" would give me. Over 196 items and most of them where the list of the rare game codes ranging in price from 99 cents to 4 bucks!!!! Have people really gotten so damn lazy they cant put down their fries long enough to type Mcdonald's monopoly into a search engine? Heres the list you lazy asses.......

Name	Status	Color	Prize	Rare Pieces
#801 - Mediterranean Avenue #802 - Baltic Avenue	Rare Common	Purple	$50	15,000
#823 - Reading Railroad #824 - Pennsylvania Railroad #825 - B&O Railroad #826 - Short Line	Common Common Common Rare	Black	$100	1,500
#803 - Oriental Avenue #804 - Vermont Avenue #805 - Connecticut Avenue	Common Rare Common	Blue Gray	$500	250
#806 - St Charles Place #807 - States Avenue #808 - Virginia Avenue	Common Common Rare	Maroon	$1,000	250
#809 - St James Place #810 - Tennessee Avenue #811 - New York Avenue	Common Rare Common	Orange	$5,000	50
#812 - Kentucky Avenue #813 - Indiana Avenue #814 - Illinois Avenue	Rare Common Common	Red	$10,000	30
#815 - Atlantic Avenue #816 - Ventnor Avenue #817 - Marvin Gardens	Common Rare Common	Yellow	$25,000	5
#818 - Pacific Avenue #819 - North Carolina Avenue #820 - Pennsylvania Avenue	Common Common Rare	Green	$50,000	5
#821 - Park Place #822 - Boardwalk	Common Rare	Blue	$1,000,000 ($50,000 per year for 20 years)	3

Other than >Boardwalk, all of the rare pieces are alphabetically the last in their set.

A five foot tall weiner sculpture? Wouldnt that look lovely in the den.

2007-09-14T06:48:00.000-07:00

Every now and then i have to think " just what the F*** did i type into my search engine that got me here?" Anyway if you ask me whoever this chink used as a model for her statue needs to see a doctor , it shouldnt be that swollen.

PETERBOROUGH --

Q: What is pink, weighs 72 lbs., is 5-foot-2 tall, 3-feet in diameter, got the bounce from eBay, and is likely the largest of its kind in the world?

A: The penis in Jo Mann's kitchen.

It is covered in a sheet, as it is on most days, a flesh-coloured sheath, to be exact -- "just in case the grandkids come through."

"It cuts down on the explaining," says Jo Mann.

Jo Mann is an artist. The huge manhood edifice in her kitchen, which took her four months to sculpt -- plaster of Paris, garden hose, vacuum hose (think of veins), and lots of duct tape -- was created for the 2006 International AIDS Conference in Toronto.

It comes, in fact, with its own condom, its packaging being an artfully-painted box that once held an extra large pizza.

Click here for the full story

Click here for the for the auction

Why Vh1 Sucks and the Top 50 Awesomely bad songs according to them

2007-08-31T12:59:00.000-07:00

This past Wednesday i posted on baddrink.com my usual batch of odd links from around the net and Vh1's list of top 50 awesomely bad songs kinda pissed me off. I looked up the videos for each of these songs and if you can go down the list and not have sung along with at least one of them then you cant be human. Sure they aren't the most awesome but they are cool in their own way. Lets start down the list and ill start from number one and go to fifty just to be a little different..

1. we built this city ( starship )

I would bet this was probably one of the first if not the first video that VH1 ever played , those trators, where is their loyalty? Well Vh1 you can kiss my ass and stay out of my city , you know my city i built on Rock n Roll bitch! This song rules

2. achy breaky heart (Billy Ray Cyrus)

Im betting people are thinking VH1 nailed this one but nope i disagree , the songs hokey but at the same time Billy Ray Cyrus had people line dancing to this all over the country. About thirty seconds into the song you feel its powers as you start singing along with it admit it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EebObs-vC0

3. everybody have fun tonight ( Wang Chung )

Find me somebody that doesn't have the overwhelming urge to say " every body Wang Chung tonight" when somebody else says "every body have fun tonight" and ill show you someone who has lived in a cave for the past 20 years. I admit the video makes me almost go into epileptic seizures but hey its worth the sacrificed to Wang Chung tonight.

4. Rollin' (Limp Bizkit )

Certainly not the most memorable songs in this list but we all know the "I keep rollin rollin rollin" ,part

Next Page ( on my site )

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Page 2 , Page 3 , Page 4 , Page 5 , Page 6 , Page 7 , Page 8 , Page 9 , Page 10

Ahh the genny cream ale bounty

2007-08-31T12:54:00.000-07:00

Doesn't it look wonderful in the Midge ( also known as the man fridge ) just ignore the two wine coolers there left over from the wife. Some may ask "wheres the food?" thats what our other fridge is for,that way you dont have to worry about that pesky food getting in the way of your alcohol storage. Sure there are cooler ways to store your brew out there but ill take my midge anyday. Anyway i couldnt wait to try one so ill have to admit i stuck some of them in a bag in the fridge at work to chill that way id have some cold ones to start with. Alas one of these fine cream ale soldiers went down on the drive home, i couldn't wait.

Did it tastes as good as i remember you ask? Well yes and no, it doesn't taste just like cream soda like i remember it but it does have that nice creamy froth to it like cream soda does. With my first glass i was taken back in time to that faithful day grandma began my journey as a beer drinker. Who ever said you cant go back was wrong, a few genny cream ales and i felt like a kid again. Theres only one problem now and that securing a steady supply of cream ale.

The Quest for Genny cream ale part 2

2007-08-21T11:14:00.001-07:00

I got the call last night my coworker didn't forget me ,the genesee cream ale was almost within tasting distance. He had a hard time tracking it down , plenty of genesee light and straight genesee but cream ale seemed to be in short supply. Luckily after going to a few different stores he tracked down two twelve packs , the last two they had. The night he found it he had to try one , of course he figured he would try to convince me cases up there come in groups of 23. Before he left to come home he stopped at the local IGA and there it was low and behold a Genny cream ale 30 pack. Im picturing a ray of sunshine landing on it , with the sounds of angels singing in the background but maybe im embellishing it in my mind.

Last night i dreamt of swimming in a see of genesee cream ale froth as it flowed from the tap of a giant keg. This morning i get into work and he tells me he left it at home he would get it at lunch time that way im not tempted to crack one open before lunch.( Who is he to decide when my alcoholism should begin?) Lunchtime is almost over now and im sitting here patiently waiting for tonight i have a date with Genny.

The quest for Genny cream ale

2007-08-20T12:39:00.000-07:00

Some people associate their childhood memories of going to see grandma with things like fresh baked cookies and getting their cheeks pinched, not me i think of genesee cream ale. If you live in upstate Ohio or any where in Pennsylvania and you've ever drank a beer your familiar with Genesee cream ale. If you dont live there then you've probably never heard of it but its the cream of the crop when it comes to cheap beer in that area. Every year we went to grandma's house a ten hour drive with me in the back of the station wagon with a ton of room to move around on the way there. On the way back i was squished between cases of genesee cream ale as my dad stockpiled his yearly stash. I slept with my head on a case of brew and my feet on another like some sort of drunken kiddy bootlegger, i grew to hate that beer over the years.

Every year that beer squished me and my hatred for that green can grew until the day of my fondest memory of visiting my grandmother .The time she let me have my first beer!!!! I was eleven or twelve years old at the time and it all started with her letting me have a sip .From there it went to me bugging the hell out of my mother until i got my very own can. I remember my grandmother saying " just go ahead and give it to him , its one beer it wont hurt, we drank it as babies in the old country". Holding that green glistening can in my hand was better then Christmas for me , i couldn't believe it i had my very own can of beer! The can even had one of those old pull tops which made it even seem more mysterious to me , more adult. Holding that frosty green can in my hand made me an adult that can now made me a man! As i remember it the taste was like cream soda, with each sip of brew the years of hatred towards it washed away. I was in heaven with my first beer, funny how all my fondest memories involve beer isnt it, i guess those memories are what made me what i am today. Maybe i can be a good father and recreate the same memory's for my kids.

The next year we visited my grand mother the first words out of my mouth where "dont we need to go to the state store and get some genesee cream ale?". A whole year had passed since my first sip so i was jonesing for another, it was all i could think about. Grandma was more then willing to give me the beer i wanted so much and now thinking back it was probably her way of getting me to fall asleep. A few years later grandma passed away so no more summer trips to PA. As the years went by the thought of that first beer and grandma faded to the back of my mind.

I hadnt thought about genesee cream ale or grandma in years until a coworker brought up his first memory of his first brew with his dad. So now its been over 20 years since ive had any genesee cream ale and my thirst grows every day. Luckily the same coworker that brought it up just happens to have been traveling to upstate Ohio this weekend to visit family. I sent him with a 20 spot stapled to a printout of the genesee label with the words "buy me" written on it. Hopefully tomorrow evening ill once again have my genny cream ale in my hands. Friday i got to thinking about the brew so bad i went out to the local liquor/party store in hopes of finding any cream ale at all. The only thing they had where little kings cream ale so i bought em, an eight pack of 7 oz bottles for around five bucks. Not a bad price but i wondered why the small seven ounce bottles? After the first sip i could tell why the small sized bottles. Has anyone ever tried piss mixed with beer? I would say little kings come real close to that combo, hopefully my memory of genny cream ale isnt that tainted.

America's wounded puppy syndrome and Thriller

2007-08-16T13:17:00.001-07:00

Most if not everybody on the net has seen this video of Filipino inmates performing Michael jacksons thriller video.

Well a couple of days ago i woke up to some morning talk show , i think it was good morning America and they had some guy discussing this video. He did the usual blah blah shit about how many people have seen the video and how it quickly became viral on the net but he went on about how these where prison inmates. How many of them had been awaiting trial for years and how some where there for their political beliefs and how maybe this video will raise awareness for their plight.

Give me a break! Can we as Americans not see anything we don't need to save? Seriously is it possible for the media to see anything and not turn it into so sort of wounded stray puppy on the side of the road we need to rescue? Why is it that every time we find something that seems innocent and makes us laugh the media has to look for a darker side or how we need to help these poor people. Ive got a news flash for the media, we have innocent people in our jails too, we have people awaiting trials as well, we also have people imprisoned for their political beliefs thanks to the patriot act. So just why the hell do we need to look elsewhere? Sure spending my days in a jail making remakes of Michael Jackson videos, and scenes from sister act is pretty close to what i would consider hell being like and it does seem like cruel and unusual punishment. But these guys all look pretty healthy to me, none of them seem to be starving in prison camps or anything. Maybe its just me but im thinking these guys are a little low on the list of people we need to rescue.

I dont want to come across racist or anything like that im just saying if we have to go on a rescue mission maybe we should prioritize people. Lets see , people in our own country by default go to the top of the list, those who are trying to help themselves go next on the list. Countries where some leader is dressing up and playing Hitler and committing genocide go pretty high up there too. People who live in places where nothing grows that complain they are starving go on the bottom of the list. Throw all the rest in the middle of the list and make sure to exclude people who dont want help , you know the ones we tell how " we are bringing you freedom" and then they shoot at us.

its a vagina not a clown car

2007-08-06T08:10:00.000-07:00

I know this is the second rant in a row to involve religion but trust me im not anti religion and thats not the theme i plan on going with on this site. However i just couldn't resist commenting on this .....

On the way to work this morning i heard on the radio that these dumbass's http://www.duggarfamily.com just popped out their 17th child. My first thoughts where great another "its gods will" or "god wants us to be fruitful and multiply" group of nuts giving birth to a new generation of nuts. A quick review of their site shows me its not just normal nuts its worse, seems they did use the pill at one point but she still got pregnant and miscarried. They now of course blame themselves for the miscarriage , they think god was punishing them for their selfish act of not wanting to spit out an unwanted kid. Of course they where outraged to find out you could get pregnant while taking the pill , how dare they take the pill they are Christians, they are pro life! Can somebody tell these idiots about the invention of the condom? Unlike the pill if you do get pregnant while using a condom theres no side effects in the pregnancy. Maybe someone should tell them if a little spills out you don't get half a kid.

To make matters worse they are home schooling these kids. Home schooling your kids just screams i don't want my kids to ever hear any opinion other then mine. Anybody ever see the movie The Waterboy
where Kathy bates keeps telling Adam Sandler that everything is the devil. I can see the whole Duggar family sitting around the living room as mom tells them to fear the outside world and how only god and her truly loves them. Yup, just breeding another possible generation of David koresh wanna bees if you ask me.

door to door jesus or jesus knockers

2007-07-12T11:44:00.001-07:00

Sorry for the lack of updates but ive been working on alot of projects around the house which brings me to todays rant. This past Sunday i was minding my own business working in my side yard digging a drainage ditch when a SUV I didn't know pulled up with a couple of guys in suits in it. The guys got out and started heading my way and right away i could tell what they were door to door jesus salesmen. They just have that whole " I know im bothering you but its for jesus" look to them, a smugness all its own. These guys can obviously see im working im knee deep in a hole wearing nothing but a pair of shorts and im covered in sweat but that doesn't stop the jesus salesmen. Our conversation went like this:

Jesus Salesmen 1: So are you making the driveway wider? ( ive had some work done that looks like im making the driveway wider)

Me: Nope putting in a pool ( i really am but they couldn't see it from where i was digging so they might of thought i was being a smartass)

Jesus Salesmen 1: We dont mean to bother you or interrupt you while your working.

Me: Ok ( in my head i was thinking "then why the *censored* are you bothering me?")

Jesus Salesmen 1: We are just out taking some time to talk to people blah blah blah ( i pretty much quit listening at that point)

Me: Really wow.

Jesus Salesmen 1: Blah blah blah , with all the fighting thats going on in the middle east lately on the news people are concerned about rapture coming soon.

Me: Recent fighting in the middle east? You do know they have been fighting there for the past couple thousand years right? Seems to me it just made the news since we jumped in.

Jesus Salesmen 1: Yeah, but with all the recent wars and weather people are looking for answers.

Me: Ok ( in my head i was thinking "yeah i want to know the answer to why the hell your still here!")

Jesus Salesmen 1: Blah blah jesus, peace on earth blah blah blah we will leave you with this pamphlet to read and maybe it will answer some of the questions you might be asking yourself.

Me: Ok well ill get back to work ( in my head i thought " was i asking anybody any questions? Great i can use this pamphlet to wipe the sweat off my forehead")

Jesus salesmen 1: You have a good day and good luck with your digging

Jesus salesmen 2: have a good day and God bless

Several people might be thinking whats my problem? these guys where just trying to spread the word of God. Well heres my problem i lost 45 minutes of my time listening to their mindless chatter and oh yeah thats right i didn't invite these guys now did I? Now lets put there sales pitch in a nutshell:

"Hello , We would just like to let you know how we believe you should live and what you should worship if not...........well your going to die and spend all eternity in hell where your soul will be tortured by a big bunch of scary monsters."

Im not downing religion but thats the sales pitch in a nutshell inst it? Seems to me these guys pulled up on my property uninvited then started slinging threats at me , if eternally being tortured by some guy holding a pitchfork isn't a threat i don't know what one is. Now it would be illegal for me to show up at there house and say " if you don't drink beer like me a big scary beer monster will come and destroy your liver while you sleep" so just what the hell makes it legal for them? Maybe im looking at it wrong but i think the next time one of these jesus knockers comes to threaten me ill just pull out my can of Cthulhu whoop ass and send them on their merry little way.

2007-07-03T12:58:00.000-07:00

As everyone knows its the week of the fourth so i figured i would try to make something that says " all American" . Hamburgers came to mind because what says "im a proud American" better then grilling some ground up cow carcass in a patty form. Of course i could cook up some veggie burgers instead but that would make me a communist free loving hippy wouldn't it. Every time i cook burgers i use different spices in them and maybe it was 6 beers i had drank or maybe it was the cheeto loaf that inspired me but this time i got creative and it came out pretty good.

Heres your grocery list

1lb ground beef

1 bottle of malt liquor ( i used cobra this time)

1 bottle of fake bacon bits

1/2 teaspoon of tonys seasoning salt

1 8oz bag of cool ranch doritos

12 pack of your favorite beer ( to drink while your cooking )

I would go into great detail on how to make a burger but if you dont know how to do that allready you probably have no damn buisness near a grill and i dont want to be resonsible for your injurys so go play with a sparkler instead. For those of you that do know the basics of how to make a burger all i did different is crush up some doritos and mix them in like a meat loaf. Then i added a handful of bacon bits into the mix and poured some malt liquor over the whole mess and let it sit and marinate for a while.

After you've let the malt liquor soak into the meat then roll the meat into four good size meat balls and flatten them out just a little. Ive had people pat out burgers for me before that pat them out so damn thin they fall apart the first time you flip them. Nothing better then burning your knuckles as you try to flip the few burgers that didnt fall apart as the other half of them burn in the bottom of the grill. The trick is to use your spatula to flatten them out after they have cooked for a while on the grill and that keeps them from falling apart. Here is the end result, notice the yellow chip chunks inside the burger.

Surprisingly bacon bits taste more like bacon when they are cooked inside a hamburger. Not only that the doritos kept most of their ranch flavor, it was almost like eating a corn tortilla with bacon. Im going to have to try this again but next time ill toss in some cheese, happy fourth all, now go blow something up! Because nothing says I love America like drinking German beer and shooting off Chinese fireworks.

Dramatic chipmunk is a friggin prairie dog!

2007-06-28T12:29:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago this video started appearing all over the net labeled something like the greatest five second video on the net or something like that.

Pretty much over night the clip had flooded forums all over the world relabeled as "dramatic chipmunk" now heres the question i have, are there really that many dumb shits out there that dont know what a damn chipmunk looks like? Sure they are both some type of rodent but hell heres a chipmunk and here is a prairie dog. Im slowly seeing "dramatic prairie dog" videos showing up so i guess not every one is a dumbass. But it got me wondering are there really that many people who cant tell the friggin difference? Do the names "Alvin" , "Simon", or "Theodore not ring a bell to these people? Or better yet didnt anyone ever watch rescue rangers? come on people Chip and Dale. And before some assbag out there says its some type of non lined chipmunk heres the video the clip originally came from.

of course there are a bunch of remix videos now too........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJy-0Lw4Nak

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4blDoSCp4Y

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_EskIE4zpI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2lXL7HflU1Q

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4s-9kSAO3rs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WiloZd1H4ow

Whats with the LOLcats ????

2007-06-22T11:56:00.000-07:00

There have been several trends on the internet that i didnt quite understand how or why they got so popular over the years. The first i didn't quite get was the whole "All Your Base Are Belong To Us" that came from the sega game "Zero Wing". Then there was the "I Kiss You guy", Mahir Cagri, didnt get that one either. Now its LOLcats????? pretty much pics of cats/kittens with cute phrases with them that are mispelled 50% of the time since as we all know cats are shitty spellers or they are written like cats speak leet. You know ive suspected for years that cats might be closet hackers so this would explain the whole speaking leet thing. Ive caught my cat typeing on the keyboard a time or two , sure cats want us to believe they are really just walking across the keyboard by accident but im sure hasdlkjsgfl;hk;.'';;l'5 means something in cat.

Ive seen these LOLCats off and on for years but recently they seem to be flooding the net in blogs or news articles. They are spreading like a virus on the net and mutating into LOLdogs, LOLbunnies, LOLhamsters and just about any other cutesy thing you can think of LOLporn might be next ewwww. Did we all just suddenly feel the need to see something cutesy? Hell they are now calling Saturdays caturdays for trading or posting LOLcats online. No one can say for sure the origins of these LOLcats but
im sure this trend will end like all other internet fads in time.

For now http://icanhascheezburger.com/ seems to have a pretty good collection if your into LOLcats

Why your e-mail inbox might make you look like your a midget clown humper on the prowl

2007-06-14T13:29:00.000-07:00

Every day you see a new article about how the internet is leading people to problems in relationships or divorce. If ive read one article about internet porn, online relationships, finding out your partner is into gay bestiality while squishing gerbils with their chocolate covered clown shoes, ive read a million. But while searching through all these articles i couldn't find one that talks about the number one internet related argument starter, "SPAM". Yup good old unsolicited porn adds ones with subject headings like;

hey , i really enjoyed you coming by my website last night

I really miss you and im horny

What she doesn't know wont hurt her

My friends and i would want you to come back over

The list goes on and on those are just a few i pulled from my e-mail today. Now say one day you forget to log out of your e-mail and your better half comes along noticed it goes to log you out and just what do you think is going to jump out to them like it was written in bold and neon flashing? If they have been on the net and signed up to a forum or two they will be familiar with these spam e-mails. If there not then the next thing your know a simple scan of you e-mail and your a pervert looking for some action. Heaven forbid you actually clicked on any of the e-mails that just makes it worse , now it looks like you read it.

Next they scan a little closer and they see the internet fetish spam e-mails with subjects like;

Look "your name" Hot teenage girls getting naughty like you like em

Hey "You name" i finally turned 18 come see me pleasure myself

Look here "Your name" we've got those tiny Asian girls midget girls you like

"Your name" the hottest gay midget clowns doing donkey shows you requested is now available

Subject headings in spam like the one above a worse then normal spam because they have your actual name in them, this really makes it look like you went looking for it. Of course if you other half reads just the headings there going to say " that sick bitch/bastard" and think your really into the teen girls or midget clowns. From there the we have the icing on the cake spam , the stuff that comes from online dating websites heres a few examples;

New hott friends and a New messages at your Megafriends account

Hey "You name" , you asked for hot new members. We have 6 of them!

"You name" , hook up with one of your 17 new matches right now

10 HOTT new matches for your personal add click here

If you click the link in those e-mails you go to a web page that looks like you have actually set up an account. Great now your a teen clown midget humper on the prowl for a good time.

Now heres the real truth on how spam works the basic spammer mass mailing program just sends out every name in a baby book to your internet provider such as bob@aol.com , bobby@aol.com and so and so forth. They take the ones that dont come back undeliverable and put them into their good list, next its every name in a baby book with numbers thrown in like bob1@aol.com , bob2@aol.com, they keep going on out 8 digits or so until they have covered the possibilities pretty well and they too go in the good list. This list is where your basic non specific spam e-mails come from like the first ones i discussed.

The more specific spam e-mails the ones with actual names or details those are a little harder but those crafty spammers still get the job done. A bunch of different ways are incorporated here the easiest is stripping those damn mass forwarded e-mails you know the ones that are 4 pages long with forwarded addresses until you actually get to the damn subject! Most of those have your name listed like "John doe" johndoe@aol.com so now weve got a valid e-mail address and a name to go with it. So please start stripping those forwarded e-mail addresses before you send that friggin e-mail to save poor little Alison who is dying of cancer or the e-mail that gets me free Disney tickets from bill gates himself. Better yet just keep me off the list alltogether.

More complicated e-mail address miners are what i call forum leaches and these can be the worst if you have ever used a forum before. Generally in a forum you have to sign up and some require certain fields like location, birth date, sex , you name it. Forum leaches simple go to a website and start hitting the profile links of the forum for all the users, now they have , a valid e-mail address, a name, a birth date, your location and more. If the forum has an option of " dont allow other users to e-mail me" like the baddrink.com forums do i recommend you check it and it will block the leaches. Thats just a few methods use to get your email address and personal info there are a ton more, dont even get me started on spyware thats a subject for another day.

Spammers take this wonderful info and plug it automatically gets plugged into the proper fields to make a valid web link heres a breakdown.

To : "your emailaddress"

Subject: "your name hey" 20 people responded to your personals ad

Text: Hey "your name hey" you've been getting a lot of response on your looking for sweet teen asian midget personals ad , click the link below to see who all responded you clown shoe wearing stud.

The actual link: www.singles site.com/jibberish/"your e-mail address" / jiberish/ "your name" / more jibberish/ "your city"/ jiberish/ "your age or birthday" .html

Sometimes the link is that obvious other times your personal info has been replaced with numbers that correspond with a database at that website and it cross references the info when you go to the link. In the end you get a pretty little webpage with personal info looking like you signed up for the site, its called phishing , and yes some sites do end up getting new customers this way.

So just becuase your betters half inbox looks like a letter to dear penthouse or pedifiles weekly that doesnt mean they are midget clown humpers out on the prowl looking for action.

2007-06-05T09:11:00.001-07:00

For this weeks tasty Tuesday i did an old camping dish on the grill with a twist, the first time i made this it didn't have malt liquor in it. I call it drunken hobo dinner....

Heres your grocery list:

1 roll of tinfoil

2 lbs of ground beef

2 cans of sliced potatoes

1 can of sliced carrots

1 bottle of malt liquor ( like cobra a colt 45)

1 1/4 teaspoons seasoning salt

1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce

1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper

12 pack of your favorite brew ( to drink while your cooking )

Optional:

1/3 cup sliced Onions

1/3 cup chopped jalapenos

1/2 cup of salsa

Maybe 1/2 cup of flaming hot Cheetos??

Take your ground beef and in a big bowl mix in your spices and then pat out the meat like your making hamburger patties. Make the patties pretty big to account for some shrinkage depending on what grade of beef you get they should be about half a pound per patty. Now tear off a big sheet of tinfoil and cover the patty with a half a can of potatoes and half a can of carrots ( and any optional ingredients ). Sprinkle some more seasoning salt and pepper on top of the potatoes and carrots or any other spices you want to add. Pull the corners of the foil up like your going to wrap it up like a Christmas present and pour some of that malt liquor in with it. Like ive said before don't even bother trying to do this with light beer because you wont get any flavor in the end , cheap malt liquor is the way to go. Fold the foil up so that the liquid stays inside the foil, i recommend you double wrap it if not triple wrap.

You should end up with four foil packs when your done and each one of them can be different so hey why not try four different types of malt liquor. And of course you have to drink what ever is left over, waste nothing! always remember guys and gals there are sober kids in India! Toss the foil packs on the grill on a low flame and close the lid, if your using charcoal you can just toss them straight into the bed of coals. Usually it takes about twenty minutes but its going to vary from grill to grill , it takes half an hour on my piece of crap grill. You might have to tear open one of the packs to make sure there done or just make a judgement call. Sure some of the potatjavascript:void(0)
Publish Postoes and carrots might end up burnt but hey crunchy carrots and crispy taters rock! Once your drunken hobo packets are done put them on a paper plate and you can eat em right out of the foil.

Sure they don't look the most appetizing but trust me there good. Its also a good idea to make an additional foil pack of just carrots and potatoes in case you need a little more to tide you over.

2007-06-04T12:36:00.000-07:00

Ok the title of the story is really "Man breaks world hot dog eating contest record" but come on im not one to sugar coat it. America have we really sunk so low that we award people for over eating? There is a national eating contest circuit for gods sake, anyway this dumbass ate 59 hotdogs in twelve minutes and for this he won a free trip to New York, a year's supply of hot dogs and a $250 gift card to the mall. So lets see screwing up his intestinal lining , stomach, etc is worth a little over a grand to him. But hey he does get to walk around with his head held high and say " i can take more wieners in my mouth then anyone else in the world in record time." Maybe that might get him out of a speeding ticket some day like it did for Barbie Cummings.

Here's the full story:

http://www.zeenews.com/znnew/articles.asp?aid=375043&ssid=204&sid=LIF

oh and just for giggles i did a google face recognition search for the face of "wiener eater" and this guy did come up third he was beat out by number 1 some chick and this guy number 2
but fifth place came up as Marsha Brady. Id heard rumors about what went on the set but i never would have believed it was true.

The Google Gods are Heartless Bastards

2007-06-01T10:21:00.000-07:00

Hardcore googler's discovered a new stalker feature in googles image search and from it i discovered the google gods have no heart. The new image feature is pretty simple , go to google.com and click on image search , type in someones name like say George Bush and you get your results and the url would look like this:

http://images.google.com/images?svnum=10&um=1&hl=en&q=george+bush&btnG=Search+Images

If you add this "&imgtype=face" to the url and make the url look like this:

http://images.google.com/images?svnum=10&um=1&hl=en&q=george+bush&btnG=Search+Images&imgtype=face

it will specify that google looks for images of faces. Also if you add &imgtype=news to the url it will trigger google to look for news related images which could actually be handy. This got me to thinking who does google consider the face of, like who does google consider is the face of the word dumbass. Pat robertson and the chick who tattooed golden palace on her forhead are in the top ten which makes sense to me but i do question why paris hitlon isnt ranking higher. Seeing Paris Hilton made me think of the word slut for some reason so i figured hey whose face does google consider the definition of the word slut
here are the results

My first response was shock i couldn't believe Paris wasn't at the top , hell britney spears only ranked 7th! My next thought who was this mystery girl that ranked number 1? She must be a serious ho to out rank Paris, so i had to know what she had done to get this honor. The image google had found came from this site http://home3.inet.tele.dk/hitower/child.html

The first words on the site are "In Memory of My Only Child. She had 18 years in this world." WTF? Its a page dedicated in the memory of some poor guys daughter, surely there had to be more to it so i read on. I thought the google gods hated me but from what i can tell they really havent unleashed their wrath on me instead i think they reserved it for this dead girl. Sure google hates me and thinks im gay but at least they aren't calling my dead daughter a slut! What the hell triggered her as the number one face for the word slut? With so much internet porn out there and
Paris Hilton wanna bees how did she rank so high? I must have missed something.

What must this guy have done to deserve this oh great google gods? Did he use yahoo? or was it ask.com that offended thee oh great ones? Hell even i feel sorry for him , his wife suffered from depression to the point of trying to commit suicide , and his daughter ended up starving herself to death. After going through all that and then you heartless google bastards pinpoint his daughter as the face for the word "slut"! Be wary internet travelers, you may one day offend the great google and from what i can see they have a dark side.

Upon a closer examination of the site i did see the image was named maya-slut.jpg so maybe thats what triggered google but hey ive taken thy name "Google" in vain already so screw em, its still pretty cold hearted.

2007-05-30T11:43:00.000-07:00

I know its not Tuesday but hey the holiday and a glitch in the forums threw me off, any way i had something ready for today but instead ill save it for next week and give a food review since im off anyway.

This past weekend i was strolling through the local walmart and i saw something out of the corner of my eye , a doritos bag that i didn't recognize. A closer look and sure enough it was Doritos flavor X-13D ???? What the hell is X-13D? Sounds like some sort of pesticide or wasn't it the name of the robot they bought in star wars before they bought R2D2, you know the one that shorted out. Come to think about it they could come out with strychnine flavor and we as consumers probably wouldnt even question it. We are talking about the same marketing guys who brought us the whole "fight for the flavor" contest and BBQ doritos so nothing would surprise me.

Seems the flavors name has to do with Doritos new marketing campaign / contest where we as consumers get to name the flavor. X-13D is supposed to stand for experiment 13 doritos i guess which makes me wonder what where the first twelve flavors.I recognized the flavor right away its cheeseburger with a hint of pickle and possibly a tangy mustard. Only reason i knew the flavor is that ive eaten doritos on my cheeseburger before, it gives it a little crunch trust me its good. Anyway the flavor isnt that bad but i wonder just how many people will want cheeseburger flavored chips with their cheeseburger. All in all i give the chip a thumbs sideways , not quite a thumbs up and not quite a thumbs down, its one of those chips you can eat a few of but not sit down and eat the whole bag.Some where out there somone is thinking " i feel like eating light today , instead of a cheeseburger ill just have some doritos" , " yeah doritos are a healthy snack"

After sampling the chips i turned the bag over to see the contest rules and website, low and behold its snackstrongproductions.com doing the marketing again. All they did was add a billboard and a few hotspot links that say X-13D that leads you to another flash site to their already piss poor site that features a fake Doritos land. Im not saying that baddrink.com is a great site but you dont have to hunt for the links and you can actually load it in under two days on a dial up. If you want to skip the whole fake Doritos land and go straight to the contest the site is http://x13d.doritos.com/ and yes its another damn flash site and half of its links are hotspots you need to mouse over to find. Heres a tip for your web designers, two words "navigational controls".

Enough with bashing their site and on to the contest. After finally getting to the point i could name the chips i of course have to create an account with them , great more spam but this time its spam with a side of chips. Seems not only do they want you to name the chip they also want you to make the commercial for them too. Similar to the contest they did during the superbowl, but this time they provide the video you just record a voice over for them. A quick look over the rules shows that by submitting your idea for a name you thereby grant all rights to Doritos to that name , so if you came up with "Zesty Burger" and they chose it you get the prize and nothing more, no residual's or anything just the grand prize. What is that grand prize? what is the prize for coming up with Americas new household name in snack? 52 free product coupons each valid for 1 bag of Doritos Tortilla Chips up to 13 oz. Yes for you doing the job thier marketing firm should be doing you get coupons worth $181.48 and a lifetime of Doritos calling you up to test their new flavors so you can again do the marketing guys jobs. Essentially your new pet name would be " dorito bitch"

I thought Doritos was being cheap bastards when they did the whole "fight for the flavor" campaign but this time they arent even giving out crappy t-shirts! What a bunch a cheap bastards! On a side some what related note google must think doritos are gay too! Do a google image search for "funny doritos" notice the fifth pic over , just what the hell does Zack and Slater from saved by the bell with their shirts off have to do with funny or doritos?

Cop gets stoned on pot brownies then calls 911

2007-05-25T06:36:00.001-07:00

Is this dumbass law enforcement week or what? Im not a stoner im a drunk as ive said many times before but even i know the effects of pot. I think i should have given this guy the dumbass of the week award versus the liquor store robber. The only thing that would make this better is if he said " and were still hungry too...man". All that needs to be said is "you sir a a dumbass."

This gets even better i did a search for the news story and came across the complete recording of the call to 911, click here to listen to it. I cant beleive the operator is actually not laughing her ass off hell when i first read it i laughed so damn hard everyone around me thought i was high. Here the full story on it.

Routine stop turns into porno for lucky trooper

2007-05-24T10:55:00.000-07:00

Im not sure if everyone has heard about it but a Tennesee state trooper is accused of not arresting a lady in exchange for oral sex. Now maybe this makes me a pig or maybe this makes me a realist, but i think most men can understand this guy. He is a tennessee state trooper out late at night looking for speeders, drunk drivers, or anybody else he can harass. Then he pulls over a car with this cute 21 year old that just happens to be buzzing and has a few of her illegal happy pills with her. Not only is she cute and semi stoned but low and behold she is none other then porn star "Barbie Cummings". Is it just me or is this how a lot of porn movies start? Thats the magic porno recipe: young girl late night, man in power or a pizza guy mix together with some cheesy music and instant porno.

Looking at this guy im going to guess this was his once in a life time chance that something like this would happen. Im not saying that justifies any abuse of power but hey he wasnt married and she offered. She even posted how she wanted to do it again the next time she was in the area, so im guessing she didnt develop a deep emotional scar. The tropper still gave her the speeding ticket he just didnt clog up our courts with another pill head that will do nothing more then learn about newer drugs while in jail. He saved us some tax dollars and got a priceless memory , no harm no foul right?

Theres one thing that i noticed the news sources have overlooked in this little matter, the fact good ole inoccent Barbie is milking this for all its worth. ( pun intended ) Do a web search for Barbie Cummings and see if you what you find, other then her website you really dont find much except for news about this. Prior to her posting this on her blog she was a nameless porn actress and now she has her 15 minutes of internet fame. When the web hits started going up on her site she pulled the blog, the pics, and the video and it was replaced with a porn site listing a bunch of other porn stars so they too could bask in the glory of this news story.

Marital Disclaimer: note to Wife please notice i mentioned the officer wasnt married, had he been married it would have been different.

Flaming Hot Cheetos Meat Loaf

2007-05-22T12:19:00.000-07:00

Ok im not going to deniegh it I forgot about tasty Tuesday this week until the last minute but as a result i got to try something ive wanted to do for a long time. Come to think about it this idea hit me over ten tears ago when i first got introduced to one of the greatest snacks ever.I remember looking into the old vending machine where i worked and saying what the hell is a Flaming Hot Cheeto? They sat in the machine for a week or two until they where the only thing left and i had to have something to go with my cold meatloaf sandwich so i tried them. As my hands turned almost to a glow in the dark red color i thought do they really need to make it this damn color? Really do they think we as consumers are so dumb that we need hot snacks to be this damn coated with red dye number 40? It also did kinda puzzle me when i noticed there wasnt any sign of anything that closely resembled hot in the ingredient list but hey they tasted great smashed inside my meatloaf sandwich. They added a little spice or zing to the dull old meatloaf sandwich and that got me thinking other then the funky color why not use crushed cheetos instead of crackers in a meatloaf?

A few months went by and the vending machine went dry of flaming hot cheetos so i checked the stores for them. Every where i went no one had ever heard of them, had i found the one fountain for these wonderful snacks and run it dry i thought. Would i never again get the acid hot flavor and the msg headaches again i wondered. It was years later that the snack reared its head again and finally became mainstream. And last night i finally got to make my dream of flaming hot cheeto loaf a reality.

Heres your grocery list:

2 lbs of ground beef

2 eggs

12 pack of beer ( one to add to the meatloaf for flavor the other 11 to drink while cooking )

2/3 cup of crushed Flaming Hot Cheetos

1/3 cup crushed crackers

1 1/4 teaspoons chili powder

1 1/4 teaspoons seasoning salt

1/4 cup ketchup

1/3 cup chopped jalapenos (optional but recommended )

1/3 cup finely chopped Onions ( again optional )

1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce

1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper

1/2 cup of shredded cheese ( again optional)

1 muffin pan

I know the first question is going to be why the muffin pan, and thats an idea that my wife came up with. Your pretty much making mini meat loafs in the muffin pan instead of one big one. It works out great for me since i like the burnt outsides on the meatloaf and if you have picky eaters in your house make different loafs for each person. Since i was experimenting for the first time with flaming cheeto loaf i got one pan and some meat while the wife made the normal loaf as a backup thats why i have only the little bit of meat showing in the bowl in the picture. Also i used alot more more then the little pile of cheetos in the picture. The pile in the pic is 21 cheetos which is what they say is one serving, who the hell are they kidding?

Now comes the easiest part , put all the ingredients in a bowl except for the cheese,the beer,and the ketchup of course and mix them up a like your playing with playdoh. A good tip is to wear some plastic gloves. That red dye in the cheetos is pretty harsh and hard as hell to come off , so not only did i wear gloves i smashed the cheetos in a zip lock bag. Even doing that and washing my hands numerous times i can look down at my fingers right now and see a pinkish stained hue. After your done mixing the ingredients up start making balls of the now neon red meat and putting it in the muffin pan. Dont worry about spraying any nonstick stuff on the pan the meat will make its own grease and pull apart from the pan so make the balls pretty big ( ok i didnt know this and mine turned out tiny ). When you got the pan full top off the meat muffins with some ketchup as a glaze, or a little bit of your favorite hot sauce for some more heat. Im not sure what transformation happens as ketchup bakes but is it just me or does it taste better?

Now that your tray is ready fire up the grill, sure you could do it in the oven but why? its nice out and this is man meat loaf not meant for the oven. Just turn the burner on a low setting and let it preheat for a couple of minutes with the lid closed. After youve given it a few minutes to warm up put the muffin tray on the grill and shut the lid.

It took my crappy old grill about 20 minutes to cook them but i would check them about every 5 minutes or so. When they have been on the grill for about 10 minutes poor some beer over each of the muffins so it mixes with the grease around the meat for a little added flavor. If you want you can also add some shredded cheese on top of the loafs when you add the beer its optional of course. Check out the difference in the colors of the meat in the two different trays on the grill , can you tell which side is cheeto loaf?

They didnt turn out bad for the first run as a matter of fact they where pretty good. Just one thing i might do different next time is make larger meat muffins, they really shrank.

Heres a pic of the cross section of what they came out looking like next to a normal meat loaf muffin. Sure they look kinda gross and i need to work on making them a little more appetizing to the eyes but they where good. The picture came out pretty crappy but that could be due to the beers consumed during this experiment.I think the next time i make these ill use a heart shaped muffin pan so they look like little bleeding heart loafs...

Watch, how much you all want to bet that google picks up on the whole "Flamming" thing as a keyword and puts up a bunch of "are you gay" ads.

A trip to the hardware store

2007-05-21T12:47:00.000-07:00

Lowes and Home Depot must have the greatest marketing firms in the world working for them to do what they do. Think about it what other stores have the ability to make the average person believe that a simple trip to the hardware store can make them qualified to build anything! I wonder how many electrical fires, exploding water heaters, or rickety decks have been born out of the " you can do it, and we can help" marketing campaigns of these stores alone. Or better yet the Lowe's campaign of "ask our experts" , tell me just what makes the pimple faced kid working part time in Lowes plumbing isle an expert on plumbing? Is it because he can operate a faucet or that he has the highest score on Super Mario?

There has been many projects i have undertaken that i probably wasnt qualified to do but hey the kid at home depot said i could. Maybe its a mentality of "if they sell me the tools to do it then it must be easy to do", that leads the average person to thinking they can do anything. Personally im pretty good with tools minus the occasional accident like shooting a nail through my hand and such. Ill admit ive had to tear entire projects apart to start from scratch because i screwed up. But there are so many unqualified people out there with that " i can do it" mentality. Hell they make you get a background check for a gun but they have no problem selling anybody an ax, a hammer, or a skillsaw? I for one would much rather be shot they hacked up with a skillsaw especially if the person doing they hacking didnt know how to use the it and had to make numerous cuts.

Out of all of my household projects ive managed to get them done and at least make them look semi professional or at the very least functional. But i really wonder what is that false sense of " i can do it " that comes with owning a new tool. What part of the brain shuts down to make us think we can build anything? Then to make matters worse you have the DIY shows that just love to put ideas into you head. But thats a subject for another day

Anyway in the spirit of building things we arent qualified to build i ended up at Lowes this weekend buying tools i dont really know how to use. Im doing some masonry work so of course i needed a masonry hammer for the job and i sought out one in the store. Finally i noticed a single hammer laying next to the concrete trowels but it didnt have a barcode. After flagging down an expert ( also know as a teenage kid who works at Lowe's part time ) he tells me just use the cashier near that isle and ask her to walk over to the isle and scan the code on the rack, no biggy. After gathering up all the other odds and ends i needed i walked over to the cashier who was starring off in space with a dazed look. Now im not trying to discriminate or anything but this cashier if i had to guess would weigh in around 300+ lbs and no other customers where anywhere in sight let alone in line and thats important to know, the conversation went like this:

Me: This hammer doesn't have a barcode but the guy over there said you can scan the code on the shelf.

Cashier:Do you know the numbers of the barcode?

Me: Uhh..... no they are on the shelf right over on the isle right there ( as i point to the shelf 15 feet away )

Cashier: Can you tell me the numbers off the shelf? Heres something to write them on ( as she prints out a blank receipt and hands me a pen )

Me: Ok , (I walk over to the isle write the numbers down and bring them back to her)

Cashier: This isnt the right numbers.

Me: Its the only numbers on the sticker.

Cashier: Here take this scanner and scan the barcode ( she hands me the cordless handeheld scanner )

Me: Ok ( i walk back over and scan the barcode for her )

Cashier: Thanks your total will be xxx

Here is what should have happened at this point

Cashier: Can you tell me the numbers off the shelf? Heres something to write them on ( as she prints out a blank receipt and hands me a pen )

Me:Heres an idea chunk instead of me doing your job why dont you get you chubby happy ass up and waddle on over to the isle and use your kielbasa size fingers to pull the little button on that hand held scanner that your payed to use. Maybe if you waddled around every now and then your ass wouldn't require a loading door to enter this building!

Baddrink.com historic day

2007-05-16T10:51:00.000-07:00

Well today is a proud day in baddrink.com history , finally this site is the number one hit for something on google! If you type in "yahoo finaince" in your google search engine the number one hit is Baddrink.com!!!!! Here it is

Do you know what that means??? It means the millions of illiterate web surfers looking to use google to get them to Yahoo Finance will see this site first. Oh happyness google finally has ranked baddrink.com appropriatley!

How ive yearned to cater to the illeterate money tycoons.

making Drunken chicken

2007-05-15T14:04:00.000-07:00

Ok since im feeding the internet spiders info so they dont think im gay , it got me to thinking whats more manly then grillin. So i fired up the ole grill for Beer Butt Chicken, Drunken Chicken, Beer Can Chicken or whatever you want call it. ( watch google will just pick up on the gay and butt thing ) . Yes you heard me right beer butt chicken , trust me its better then it sounds, and real easy. Total cook time is about an hour and a half and you can do the whole meal on the grill.

Heres your grocery list:

1 four to five pound chicken

1 bottle/can malt liquor

1 Potato

Some seasoning

1 cast iron frying pan ( optional )

1 beer butt chicken rack ( optional but real handy)

1 marinade injector ( again optional but good for seasoning)

First thing is make sure your chicken isnt frozen, if it is this will take way to long and it probably end up like a microwave burrito, burnt on the outside and frozen in the middle. If the chicken isnt frozen then its time to add your seasoning rub. A rub is nothing more then a mix of different seasonings and spices , you can make your own or buy it from the store, using a good season salt as a rub is pretty good for starters. The way a rub works is the rub pulls moisture from the air, and draws the juices from inside the meat this reaction causes the meat to literally marinate itself. The best way to apply the rub is to sprinkle the rub onto the bird, wrap in plastic wrap and store in a refrigerator overnight. If your like me you dont plan that far ahead and i just put it on the chicken 20 minutes before i cooked it, which still works but overnight would be better.

Now its time to prep your beer can, i was drinking bottles when i started this so i had to swipe an empty soda can from my wife. Rinse the can out and fill it about half way full of beer and set it in the beer butt chicken rack if you have one. If you want you can add some other spices to the beer like cut up jalapenos or onions in the end it will steam into the meat as flavor. Beer selection is important, you will notice i used king cobra malt liquor versus a plain jane keystone light like i normally drink there is a reason for this. Light beers are just that , "light" they are even light in flavor no matter what Budweiser says. We are looking for a malt flavor here so go to a malt beer , any malt liquor will do but the cobra was cheap and hey i get to drink the remainder. For some added flavor you can inject some butter or other spices into the breast of the chicken. Personally i recommend a few squirts of papa johns garlic butter into each breast but its optional so if you have a marinade injector already.

Next you put the half full beer can into the chickens rear, ( hence the beer butt name ) dont spill the beer when you do this! your wanting a half full beer in the can. The can should fit pretty snug if it wont fit at all then you dont know the chickens ass from its neck ( try the other end ). Just in case someone out there doesn't know this , make sure you remove the neck and the livers before inserting the can. If you dont have a beer butt chicken rack you can prop the chicken up using the can and the chickens legs like a tripod to balance it. Then take your potato and jam it in the neck of the bird, this will keep the flavorful steam inside the meat.

I mentioned the skillet was optional earlier and that all depends on how good of a grill you have. I have an old piece of crap grill thats small, flames up bad, and has two flame settings on or off. If your like me then set the chicken on a skillet on the grill to catch some of the grease and keep the grease fire down. Set the chicken on the grill and turn the flame down to medium if you can and close the lid to the grill. The lid being able to close is important , your making a backyard oven here , also try to make it so the lid doesn't hit the chicken or it might burn. I check the grill every fifteen minutes or so when i cook one of these but for first timers check it about every ten. Normally it takes about an hour to an hour and fifteen minutes to cook a 5 pound bird this way but thats going to vary from grill to grill so its good to have a meat thermometer. Dont check the temp on the bird to often because each time you poke it your letting juices and flavor out but in the end the chicken should be 180 degrees F (80 degrees C) when done.

What i do is about a half hour before i think the chicken will be done is i start getting my corn on the cob ready. Simply take some corn thats been husked , some butter, some season salt, and wrap it up in some foil. You can use non husked corn and just toss it on the grill its all up to which tastes better to you. Put your corn on the grill about twenty minutes prior to when you think the chicken will be done and it should be ready about the same time. Every five minutes or so you want to roll the corn to keep it from burning on one side. If you want to add a baked potato to the mix then do the same with it but throw it on the grill when you first start the chicken. Quick and easy and MANLY google!

If your bored and need a good laugh you can also take tinfoil and make a bikini for the chicken. Wrap it around the bird before you cook it and add some tan lines like the picture at the top. Oh and if you want you can do this in the oven inside the house but then it becomes womens work.

Google hates me and thinks im gay part 2

2007-05-14T11:07:00.000-07:00

Like i said im my previous rant Ive been working hard at convincing google im not gay. Ive been using google's webmaster tools thinking i could maybe fix googles oversight i checked the list of phrases that people searched for that brought them here and today's list included:

Google search Keywords

"did i leave a bad taste in your mouth"

"bad taste berlin myspace"

"
"bad taste in mouth gassy"

"cat care bad taste in mouth"

Great all that work and now anyone looking for a fart that leaves a bad taste in your mouth or someone licking their cat clean will find me. Who the hell is searching for this crap? But i thought at least the "are you gay" ads where gone so maybe i had made some head way that is until i went to myspace. As i was looking for the cam-ho of the week for the forums i noticed the ad at the bottom of the screen, it read "GAY" are you? What the hell is this some sort of internet conspiracy? Just what is it thats making me look gay?

Before these articles about google i dont even think i can find the word gay on this site, the closest i come to it is the wizard of OZ commentary so really what gives? Is there some sort of great internet conspiracy going on? is there some hidden gay cookie stuck in my cache? What oh what have i done , when i exited Myspace i noticed this add .What the hell happened to subtlety in advertising? A picture of some guy with his shirt off with the words "men men men" scrolling across the screen and the phrase " get it on Gay.com" is not only not subtle its flat out calling me Gay! Now there is no doubt in my mind i have offended the great internet gods , for this tonight i will make an offering to the internet gods so that they may forgive me. I will stab and burn my copy of The 40-Year-Old Virgin, While i chant to the great internet gods. ( sorry the movie was the closest thing i could find to a real virgin)

Maybe if i try to feed the internet spiders certain words or phrases they will let me leave this google/myspace hell. Here goes Charlton heston, John Wayne, Truck pulls, Monster Trucks, Rambo, The man Show, Boobies , hot chicks, and Beer.

Also for you Internet explorer users im trying to see if i cant make the font on this site bigger so you old farts can read it. Plus the forums are temporarily down until i can fix a few things sorry .........

For more see my site Baddrink.com

Google hates me and thinks im gay

2007-05-09T13:15:00.000-07:00

Ive decided im trapped in google hell, ive been working for the past week or so using google's webmaster tools which are a pretty useful rescource. One of the tools show what keywords brought your website up and at what rank in the search your site was, here are a few keywords that where bringing up this site.

Google search Keywords

"yahoo finaince" 3rd site a google search listed

"bleach taste in mouth" 9th site a google search listed

"taste of pennies in mouth" 10th site a google search listed

"doritos fight for the flavor" 36th site a google search listed

Now the only one out of that list that really applies to this site is my rant on the doritos fight for the flavor contest, the others make baddrink sound like a mouth fungus of some sort. Google has recrawled this site so it doesnt show up on theose searches anymore so at least baddrink no longer looks like something listerine will kill but there still is work to be done.

By getting google to recrawl the site now its even worse now even if i type baddrink into googles browser its the seventh page out of ten! Hell my geeklog profile comes up before the site with the name BADDRINK! Not only that but google isnt looking at any pages other then the main baddrink.com page, its ignoring the forums, the galleries, any old posts, everything.

To add insult to injury google now thinks im gay! At first they where subtle they slipped a google add in that said "are you gay" but now i notice that add at least four times a day.The adds are supposed to be custom tailored to keywords on the site. Then i signed up for this blog account via google and i put one rant on here , the one about the american idol fund raiser then i added google adds and the first ad was "are you gay" . What the hell is google picking up that i dont know? i did do that rant a while back about the wizard of OZ but surely thats not enough to tip the scales and make me gay is it?

Dear google gods oh what did i do to offend thee? I swear i only used yahoo once, and that time with ask.com was nothing more then a one time fling. I beg of thee forgive me and it wont happen again. Please oh please oh great google release me from my google hell , oh and im not gay.

The google gods advised me a sitemap is what i needed so after trying to figure out just how the hell a sitemap is made. Its only taken me a week to get it done and now according to yahoo its great but google has found 23 errors in it. So if anyone wonders if im dead fear not im hear alive and well trapped in google hell.

2007-05-08T06:18:00.000-07:00

The truth about cell phones is most of you dont need them you just have them for a status symbol.Here are the top ten bullshit excuse people use on a daily basis to justify this expense.

1. "I just carry it so if i break down in the middle of no where i can call for
help". Well if you are in the middle of no where you wont have service dumbass.Heres a thought spend that extra money a month you spend on cell phone bill one some maintenece to you damn car.

2."I need if for emergencys like if someone rapes or attacks me", well what are you going to do look at the attacker and say hold on just a second ive got to make a quick call? Pepper spray, a stun gun, and a rape whistle are cheap and they dont come with a monthly fee.

3. "I need it for my job" his ones way overused, hell over eighty percent of the people using this excuse work in one building and never leave unless they are going to lunch or home. Just a thought why not use that land line instead and spare me this bullshit excuse.

4. "I need it for medical emergencys" this one is valid depending on your condition. In most cases if a medical emergency comes up your not going to be able to speak you'll be to busy droppin a duece in your pants. Plus most of you have the 911 locater feature turned off so how the hell are they going to find you anyway? Two words for ya "life alert"

5. "I use it to keep up with my kids when they are out" Well well isnt that nice your using it to keep up with where you kids are. Just off the top of my head im thinking hmmmmm.....If you where even a half ass parent your kids would be home and not roaming the streets or wherever the hell they want to go. Save some money smack little timmy's ass and tell him he cant go running around all the time!

6. "I use it because i have a sick/dieing relative" This ones right up there with
the medical emrgency excuse.What is aunt beatrice going to do call you up and say im dead? As James Brown has showed us the body can wait a day or two , or a month or so for that matter.

7."I get free long distance with my cell phone and i call long distance alot" Well
thats allmost a valid argument.I get to listen to half of every word you say when
you call because your cell phone breaks up and you get to save on long distance what a great idea. Most Land line companies offer a long distance plan for a set rate every month and i dont have to miss every third word you say you cheap bastard.

8."My wifes pregnant and due any day" You sir are an idiot,when your pregnant wife is out of hearing range is quality time for you. Enjoy the time not listening to her yell at you for every little thing. I cant help you here, no one
can.

9. "my kids get home before i do and i can check on them with my cell phone" again this goes right up with the whole "i use it to keep track of my kids". If your little bundles of joy cant left alone for the 20 minutes you spend driving home from work then maybe little timmy shouldnt be left alone. Leave them be , if they play with the toaster in the bathtub then problem solved, and next time use a condom.

10. "Every else has one" this is what it all boils down to. Little kid mentality, billy has one ,jessie has one , so you have to have one. Grow up and only have one if you really need it.

American idol fund raiser and the ugly truth

2007-05-03T07:05:00.001-07:00

Im not an American idol fan, on a daily basis i see people make an ass out of themselves in real life, so i dont really see the need to watch it on tv. However this morning while i was heading to work i heard some guy on the radio say the American Idol fundraiser has raised 70 million dollars. I thought damn 70 million, its about time American Idol did something useful, he went on to mention this fund raiser was for. Starving kids in Africa was the only one that jumped out at me and i think its a conditioned response since we've heard it for years. This got me to thinking "just how many damn starving kids are there in Africa?" and does'nt that add on tv say i can feed one for 20 bucks a month! I did a google search and i still can't quite come up with a number to do the math but roughly at 80 cents a day they could feed 239,726 kids for a year.

Im not trying to be mean but why the hell would you send money to feed the children? Send money to transport them to some place that isnt an arid wasteland instead. Then build a fence so no one can ever go back to squating there! Ive listened to so much of the "stop world hunger" bullshit i can take, its gone on for years and as long as people live in a wasteland they will starve, its common sense. I watched a show on the discovery channel this weekend and you know what the animals did when they ran out of food in their area? They moved to where the food was.

For years organizations have existed to feed the starving kids in Africa lets just take the Christians children fund. They say you can feed, cloth, and provide medical care for a kid for 80 cents a day, seems like a pretty good organization and they have been around since 1938. But wait lets just look at this from a reality side, they have been around since 1938 thats almost 70 years! How many generations of kids have been born in 70 years? Im just spitballin here but why not slip some birth control in with the food rations?

Personally i cant picture myself getting a ragging boner over a starving sickly native but obviously someone is. Im not saying lets stop reproduction all together or even say who can reproduce and who cant but if you dont have enough food for yourself to eat, then poppin a little one out probably isnt a good idea. Its pretty simple, if a fundraiser has to happen for you to get something to eat then you need not make another mouth. What the hell is so hard to understand? If we send money for food then all we are doing is giving them enough energy to produce the next generation that will starve. The worlds a cruel place and reality sucks but using a little common sense might slow this problem down a bit. Even better send condoms and that might slow down the aids spread.

Theres some chinese proverb that says "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime" . In this case it would be " give a man some food and he will make more mouths to feed, give a man a condom and there might be enough food in the long run".

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